Do you still have your period?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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