We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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