I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
