Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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