take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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