i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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