it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Rumble strips road head = magical
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I believe in your delicious
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
