bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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