You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
