she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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