i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
