East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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