I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize