So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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