If that was your dad, he is hot
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
