but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
