Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
The ass gains better be worth it
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
