I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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