Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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