I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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