I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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