Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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