I could make wine with my vomit
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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