Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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