I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We just shotgunned beers for America
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
