I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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