No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
