I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
