i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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