If i come over, it means nothing
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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