Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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