Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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