there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
