I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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