she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
