is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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