Too much gin, very little bucket
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
