the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
