walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Randomize