U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
