I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
