he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
