Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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