i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I believe in your delicious
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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