what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
