look no pants
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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