He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
