can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
