you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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