At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
