How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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