Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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