I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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