i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
