I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
