there's paper in my vomit.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
me + whiskey = a bad person
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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