after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
